Testing….1, 2, 3
5,7,9,10……just thoughts after a very long and interesting day yesterday. I’ve not really mentioned this to many, but have started to. I’ve noticed for a while, that Colby is very much the copy cat, but isn’t every kid….As I’ve observed him and his brothers….I began to question his development, was I getting through to him? Am I doing everything I can/should to help him grow and develop? Maybe it’s not me? What should I do? Help?
So, we are doing some testing to see…..
And today, not sure why, after yesterday was insightful, I just am crying…..not really sure why (didn’t I just say that)? I think it’s many things, a humble cry to God, a resting and letting go of expectations, a loving that continues to grow for my child (all of them of course), a deeper need for God, hearing Him speak each day…..and then little things, like I’m tired, and I don’t know how to do this w/Adam (process and all), that I want to ‘fight’ for my kid and help him do his best anyway it takes (that’s the Momma- bear….), and above all that I will stand and trust in my God. I don’t understand it all…..but I have a PEACE. God keeps saying, “A plan and a Purpose” and “a Purpose and a time”, so I am listening and seeking.
I read something that I enjoyed last night, relaxing and processing over a cup of tea and some yummy banana bread (from my mom-in-law, Wendy) -alone w/God. This was on my tea bag, it said, “Fight for your opinions, but do not believe that they contain the whole truth, or the only truth”, I am going to stand strong…..I want the best for my kid. I know God gave me Colby, and that I’m his Mom for a reason. I’m blessed to get to make the decisions that will shape (some) of who he’s to become….and above all I pray He grows to have a heart for our Saviour.
I am learning to fear God and know His will for my life (and my family). To trust the things God has spoken and continues to speak.
The other day I was driving w/my mom….(maybe I blogged this already), but we were trying to find a way home, and I didn’t think we could do it, my mom was going off route…through crazy roads, but through our silly adventure, I learned to not fear man or authorities (unhealthy version), to trust God, even when it looks like it won’t work, that we’ll get there. I even heard/felt God say, He had us do this on purpose – it was a message and prophetic all in one, and something I needed to ‘hear’ for more of the journey ahead.
Besides this interesting journey of developmental testing and all the other stuff you do…..I am thinking today about my brother in law, Jeff Duncan. Today is would have been his 33rd birthday. Today he is celebrating with Jesus! I am so in love with Jesus today, and though sad/happy, and not understanding these tears that fall, I know there is lot God is doing in my life and others.
Above all else, choose LIFE! As my great-grandfalther would say, “I am alive in the land of the living!” Amen – so be it.
Selah….and I’ll be back later.